Hurt.

I received the call today from my doctor's office that my bloodtest was negative. This frozen transfer didn't work and sadly, in all actuality, I lost 3 babies today. I'm am saddened beyond words and my heart literally hurts.

Even though I thought I was somewhat prepared to received bad news, I wasn't. And even though we know things happen for a reason, it doesn't make it any easier to accept or understand.

I've got a little girl who I love with all of my heart that I have to be strong for. I am so thankful for the family and friend support that I have and knowing that I have so many people praying for us, makes things just a little bit easier.

This has been a TOUGH last few months for Clay and I, to say the least. We will never understand why all of these things have happened to us, but we know that God has a perfect plan for our family. We DO know that plan did not include AT&T or a new baby due in March. As much as I love Reese and she is our world, I can't help but believe that our family is not complete and that the Lord will provide for us to be able to try again. Reese has proven time and time again that she is going to be one super awesome big sister and I want her to be able to experience that. Hopefully, in time, she will be able to.

For right now, we are focusing on finding employment for Clay, getting my body healthy and geared up for another cycle, and spending as much time with each other, quality time.

As I've had a couple hours to let this all sink in, I've also had some time to meditate on some things I'd like to improve in my life, spritiually and physically. Please continue to be in prayer for us, the upcoming days are going to be tough. I pray for strength for myself to be able to get through it.

Love to you all.