Unwelcome, unpleasant reminder...

Each month, I get an unwelcomed guest invade my body and my emotions. It’s never on time, never the same, always teasing me that maybe I have a miracle forming in my womb. It’s a monthly reminder that I’m infertile, unable to conceive a child on my own with a husband that I love with all my heart. It’s a reminder that we’re not like everyone else. It’s a reminder that we have to pray, plan and pay. Most importantly, it’s a reminder that God’s mercies are new every morning and that His plan is far greater than our plans.

I may put on a face that I’m not hurting, that my heart doesn’t sink every time I hear that someone is pregnant. Please don’t take this as I am not so very grateful for my sweet Reese, but I long to give her a sister or brother or that I’m not SO SO excited for my friends that are welcoming sweet miracles very soon. I can’t wait to love on those sweet miracles. I am, I am so thrilled – I can hardly stand the wait for those babies to get here. But, I long to make my family complete, to hear another child call me ‘mommy’. My heart is overflowing with love for my daughter, but I can’t wait for my love to multiply and to make room for another little one. Because there are so many expecting mommies around us, Reese constantly asks if there’s a baby in my tummy. I always answer her, “one day soon, my love”.

To be honest, I’m scared to death to start the in-vitro process again. It’s going to be a little bit different this time, but just as emotionally and physically draining. It’s coming soon…I’ll keep you all updated, for sure. Keep us in your prayers.

On my way to work this morning, instead of flipping through the senseless radio stations, I popped in my praise and worship CD and had a sweet worship session with just me and my Jesus.

This song really spoke to me this morning...

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

...And what’s a post without a picture...

This is the very reason why Reese needs constant supervision in the backseat. By the time the smell of antibacterial made it’s way to the front seat, it was too late.. :)



I’ll be back very soon with pictures from our Disney trip - we had a MAGICAL time :)